In the event you are the type of person who wants to please friends, family and co-workers, then consider this advice:
Set boundaries so you can occasionally have quiet time at home. When you say no to people you care for there’s a likelihood you’ll feel guilt. Argue with your guilt and make positive comments about giving yourself a much needed rest. Signs that you are over extending yourself-fatigue, resentment and getting away form routines such as walking your dog, not watching your favorite TV program and not reading the newspaper. Do not be hard on yourself if you slip up in saying yes as a [pattern of behavior and become over extended. Re-evaluate yourself, ask, “Do I have excessive stress?” If the answer is yes go back to setting boundaries and saying no to reclaim you. If one is always doing what others want they become a “human doing” rather than a human being (John Bradshaw from the book Home Coming). The human being is the one who has quiet time at home, rest and above all else peace of mind. Please take small steps in terms of changing this area, don’t expect to change in 24 hours. Set a realistic goal and give change time.
Submitted by Ken Barrett, MSW, LCSW