Marital Communication – Part 4
Love Language 2 – Quality Time
The second love language Chapman describes in his book, “The Five Love Languages” is quality time. This means time spent focusing on your spouse, giving him or her your undivided attention, and doing meaningful things together. Quality time spent with your spouse means building positive and beautiful memories together.
Quality time means finding out what activities he or she likes to do and doing those things together. As Chapman states, it’s not so much what you do, rather it’s time together to show that you love and care for you spouse, a time to emotionally connect with him or her. You also expand your worlds by doing something together that one of you may have not participated in before.
Quality time also means having quality conversation where listening and empathizing are key. Both spouses let each other know that they are in tune with you, that you care about his or her thoughts, opinions, and feelings. When it comes to sharing problems, you don’t need to solve them unless they ask for help. Also, it is not unusual for one spouse to be more talkative than the other. Learn ways to be more self-disclosing or to listen more attentively so that your spouse knows they have been heard and understood.
At the end of the chapter, Chapman offers some practical things for spouses to do in order to speak the language of quality time.
Linda Luecke MA, LPC
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