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Marital Communication – Part 3

By: | Tags: | Comments: 0 | June 28th, 2023

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I will be highlighting each of the five love languages noted in Gary Chapman’s best-selling book “The Five Love Languages” in the next several blogs. 

Love Language #1

Words of Affirmation


Chapman talks about three kinds of words we can communicate with our spouses: encouraging words, kind words, and humble words.

Encouraging words help our spouse reach their potential in the face of doubt, lack of motivation, insecurity.  We pay attention to our husband or wife’s strengths and share with them our thoughts and observations.  We are their cheerleader and show our confidence in them that they can do it.  We need to believe in them and tell our spouses they can reach their goals and dreams.  Sometimes husbands and wives just need to hear it from the other spouse.

Kind words show that we care about our spouse’s feelings, that we put ourselves in their shoes in order to understand their perspective.  We can express negative feelings in a caring, loving, respectful way without blame or rejecting our spouse.

Humble words communicate to your spouse that you believe in their ability to get something accomplished.  Again, words are communicated in a loving, respectful way without demand or sarcasm.  You give your spouse an opportunity to make a choice.
Chapman provides some practical ways to speak this language with our spouses.  I encourage you to check out his book.
Linda Luecke  MA, LPC

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