It Didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn (author)
by Linda Luecke MA, LPC
During one of my counseling sessions, my client mentioned the book I was reviewing. The subtitle of the book – How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are And How to End the Cycle- resonates with most of us. At some point in our lives, I believe we all have experienced some kind of trauma from years ago, as early as childhood. The question is: Has the trauma been identified, explored, and resolved?
This transformational book takes you on a compelling journey to dormant memories, parts of your history that probably have never been examined but are unconsciously affecting your well-being. Wolynn defines his method to help you process unresolved family trauma. The key to this process is understanding your Core Language.
Wolynn defines Core Language as a verbal expression (intense, urgent words we use to describe our deepest fears) of our traumas. Core Language also includes non-verbals such as physical sensations, behaviors, emotions, impulses, and symptoms of an illness. He further develops the Core Language using the Core Language Map. This map contains four tools: Core Complaint, Core Descriptor, Core Sentence, and Core Trauma. Wolynn focuses on written exercises for each tool to connect you to and analyze your unconscious memories associated with the trauma.
Healing occurs when you’ve acknowledged and fully processed the tragic event(s). This includes identifying those thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviors, and symptoms that originated from your past and not from yourself. You realize that the past does not define nor control who you are in the present. At the end of your journey honoring yourself and family members through compassion and understanding is a precious gift you and others deserve.
This is a book I would recommend to clients who may feel “stuck” and desire to pursue a different approach to examine their mental/emotional issues and explore them at a deeper level.