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Marital Communication – Part 5

By: | Tags: | Comments: 0 | September 6th, 2011

Love Language 3 – Receiving Gifts

A gift is tangible meaning or visual sign that you love and care about your spouse. A gift can also mean your presence is important especially at important times such as a birth of a child and may mean you might have to sacrifice some of your own desires. Find out specifically what makes your spouse feel happy.   

  

Love Language 4 – Acts of Service

Acts of services have to do with helping and doing things for your spouse. It means doing the things that are important to your husband or wife and not demanding or nagging that things be done. We do not criticize them on how the task is done especially if they haven’t done it before. 

Acts of service are practical things that your spouse would like to see done – whether it is household chores, working in the backyard, planning a vacation, changing diapers, etc.

Love Language 5 – Physical Touch

Physical touch includes kissing, hugging, hand-holding, massaging, gentle touch to different parts of the body, sexual intercourse.  Find out what touch feels good to your husband or wife – not all touches are considered pleasant or stimulating.

Love must be constantly nurtured in order for it to grow.  Make it a point to discover your spouse’s love language. It may feel a little awkward at first and you may not see results right away.  Do not give up.  Keep speaking your spouse’s language and they will eventually come around and respond positively to you.  You will eventually feel more emotionally secure.

I agree with Chapman when he says love is a choice.  True love is not forced nor it is an obligation you have towards the other person.  We can choose to make things better, choose to forgive and let go of the negative feelings.  We can choose to take responsibility for the problems in the marriage. We can choose to deal with conflict in failure in our marriage. We can make positive choices around our spouse.  When we choose to speak our spouse’s love language, we tell our spouse, “I love you and am committed to you and growing our marriage.”
Linda Luecke  MA, LPC

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