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29Jun, 2011

Relationship Pointers

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When in a long term relationship or marriage the following information can be beneficial:   1)  Communicate openly about what you want from your partner.  Ask him/her what they want from the relationship.  The purpose of these questions will be to figure out if you are both on the same page in terms of what you want from the relationship.   2)  Do not allow disagreements to fester.  Find a quiet place and talk about the issue openly one at a time.  Use I messages such as I think, I […]
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28Jun, 2011

Marital Communication – Part 3

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As I mentioned in a previous blog, I will be highlighting each of the five love languages noted in Gary Chapman’s best-selling book “The Five Love Languages” in the next several blogs.    Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation   Chapman talks about three kinds of words we can communicate with our spouses: encouraging words, kind words, and humble words.   Encouraging words help our spouse reach their potential in the face of doubt, lack of motivation, insecurity.  We pay attention to our husband or wife’s strengths and share with them […]
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24Jun, 2011

Words to Live By

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Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become actions.Watch your actions; they become habits.Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. —Lao Tzu (Chinese philosopher  c.600 B.C.E.)   Self-awareness is key to our mental health.  Take time to examine your life and see what needs to be fine tuned.  Think about the legacy you want to leave behind for others to remember you by.     Linda Luecke  MA, LPC
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21Jun, 2011

Letting Kids Be Kids

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When I talk to parents about their children, they naturally talk about what they do. Moms and dads want their children to be happy and successful in life. Some jam-pack their kid’s schedules with all sorts of activities including sports, dance, foreign language and music. All this makes me wonder if they have time to breathe or remember their names.    Honestly, do you believe children are having fun or even feel good about themselves when parents map out their whole life?  Parents have a competitive spirit that sometimes blinds […]
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17Jun, 2011

Marital Communication – Part 2

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“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know that a love grows by reason and choice, not instinct.   I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth living.” (from “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, p.35)   After the honeymoon phase of a marriage, you will soon come to realize that your spouse is not quite the perfect person you had originally thought. The reality is that you […]
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17Jun, 2011

DO I NEED A THERAPIST

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Do I need a therapist?   Everyone needs help at some point in life.   You will derive benefits from professional therapy when the stresses of life are greater than the coping skills you have developed.  Deciding to get professional help is an important decision.  How to select a therapist is sometimes the reason that people delay going for help.   Recently, the Your Health program on National Public Radio (NPR) gave some ideas. (Click on the hyperlink to listen to the program).  Many clients think about how they will afford good professional help.  Consider looking […]
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14Jun, 2011

Marital Communication – Part 1

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One of the famous lines in movie history came from the movie “Cool Hand Luke”. "What we've got here is… failure to communicate." spoken by The Captain, the arrogant, domineering prison warden (Strother Martin) to Luke (Paul Newman).  This line is applicable to the couples who walk into my telling me they don’t why they can't talk to each other.    I have witnessed in my office married couples ripping each other apart, totally ignoring their spouses feelings, calling them names I can’t repeat here, saying how much they hate […]
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10Jun, 2011

It’s Cool to be You

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I’ve worked with quite a few preadolescent and adolescent girls in counseling.  Many of them feel depressed, hurt, ashamed, lonely, and confused for various reasons.   My impression of them is that they are friendly, intelligent, funny, kind, and compassionate young ladies.  Family and friends don’t notice or appreciate these wonderful qualities because they get wrapped up in the “don’t haves” or they're too busy with their lives.    Often times something about them (usually related to their outward appearance or intelligence) comes into question and they are teased or taunted for […]
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9Jun, 2011

Do not over extend yourself this Summer: “Saying no”.

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In the event you are the type of person who wants to please friends, family and co-workers, then consider this advice:    Set boundaries so you can occasionally have quiet time at home.  When you say no to people you care for there's a likelihood you'll feel guilt.  Argue with your guilt and make positive comments about giving yourself a much needed rest.  Signs that you are over extending yourself-fatigue, resentment and getting away form routines such as walking your dog, not watching your favorite TV program and not reading the newspaper.  […]
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7Jun, 2011

What’s On Your Bucket List?

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Back in 2008, there was a movie entitled “The Bucket List” starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.  They portrayed two terminally ill men who set out on a road trip together doing the things that one of them, before he dies, had written down.  Needless to say, it was quite an adventure.   Have you ever thought about what you wish to accomplish or have to do in your life (besides the usual–having a good career, starting a family, etc) before you died?  Maybe it’s time to sit down and think […]
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